Matters of Church and State

HOW TO SPOT AND DEAL WITH “ASSHOLES”

               A few months ago, I read a helpful little book with the rude, but fetching title of ASSHOLES: A THEORY.  With a title like that, it fairly jumped off the shelf at Barnes & Noble begging to be bought.  I couldn’t resist.

         I hadn’t thought of it recently until this morning when I was flipping through the Washington Post and read a story about Senator Ted Cruz of Texas in the “Style” section. http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/a-nation-comes-around-to-noticing-ted-cruz/2013/05/06/47a96986-b40e-11e2-9a98-4be1688d7d84_story.html

  

         In a eureka moment, it struck me that this guy should be the poster child for that book.  He’s perfect.  If I were Aaron James, the book’s author, I would put Cruz on the dust check for the next edition of the book.  Cruz is Hall of Fame quality and he achieved his preeminence just four months after joining the Senate.  That’s impressive.

         But first let’s talk about Aaron’s theory.   None of us really needs a philosophical discussion of what constitutes an “asshole” because we’ve been dealing with them all our lives.  Still, it’s interesting to hear what a PhD from Harvard and an associate professor of Philosophy at the University of California has to say on the subject.  His book deals not only with how to spot them, but explains why they are so deeply aggravating and annoying.  And how to deal with them and manage them.

         Aaron’s theory is this: “A person counts as an asshole when, and only when, he systematically allows himself to enjoy special advantages in interpersonal relations out of an entrenched sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints of other people.  So, by example, “the asshole is the person who habitually cuts in line.  Or who frequently interrupts in a conversation.  Or who weaves in and out of lanes in traffic…. Or, anyone who has ever uttered the phrase:  ‘Do you know who I am?’”  I have another one that immediately qualifies a person as an “asshole:” anyone who abuses and mistreats a waiter or waitress.

         What distinguishes an “asshole” from a mere jerk, says Aaron, is “the way he acts, the reasons that motivate him to act in an abusive and arrogant way.  The asshole acts out of a firm sense that he is special, that the normal rules of conduct do not apply to him.”  He doesn’t care what you think of his behavior.  He’s special.

         Now, for me to single out Cruz from a star-studded roster in Washington is quite an honor. It’s a crowded field and on Capitol Hill alone he is competing with the likes of Mitch McConnell and Eric Cantor, to name just two.  Then, of course, covering politics and the news, FOX News has perennial stars like Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity, not to mention frequent guests, Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin.  To be fair, left wing politicians such as Sen. Chuck Shumer also display asshole qualities, and MSNBC and other liberal outlets have their stars, such as Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, and Bill Maher.  But, they’re my assholes, so to speak, so I look on them more leniently.

         Finally, there are “asshole” types who have their own blogs – with pretentious Latin names in their links -- and who opine and pontificate on this and that subject, including delicate matters such as politics and religion, as if they have something worthwhile to say on either subject.

         They’re the worst kind of “assholes.”

Jerry